Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Self-Sabotage: But, What if ...


These three words can be some of the most detrimental we ever utter.  These three words "but, what if..." are an expression of fear.  But, what if ... something goes wrong, they don't like me, I suck, I forget my words, moves or ideas?  When you find yourself uttering these words, STOP.  Recognize that you are about to sabotage yourself.  Change them to something such as "When I succeed at" or "When I have accomplished ...".  Remember that not everything happens on the first try.

Why do we self-sabotage?  Primarily, it is because it is easier to believe that we will fail at something rather than succeed.  Our mind is trying to protect us from the dissonance that comes from not living up to the standards that we set ourselves, so in order to not fail and feel bad about who we are; we simply decide that the risk is too great, and we "what if ..." ourselves right out of trying.


There are many reasons that we self-sabotage.  We feel unworthy, failing is familiar; we have bad habits and addictions, expecting failure and creating the means to that end allows us to feel in control.  So, how can you stop this behaviour?  The most important thing is to pay attention to your thoughts and words.  Stop the "but, what if ..." thinking and force yourself to only think and say positive things about yourself and what you want to accomplish.  Don't see setbacks as a precursor to failure.  If you are trying to lose weight and backslide a little, do not abandon things altogether.  Edison failed 200 times before creating the light bulb, imagine how different the world might be if he had not kept on trying.  Stop thinking just about yourself.  When you sabotage your efforts you are effecting others as well.  Had I decided that I might not be any good at being a Hypnotherapist and Grief Counselor there would be many people in the world who might not have received the help they needed. Finally, do not be afraid to step out into the world.  You may indeed fail at some stuff, that is okay.  Some things are just not a good fit.  The point is you will never know if you don't try. 

(image by youngandrevolting.wordpress.com)
  Whatever else in life you do, make sure that you, at the very least ... PARTICIPATE!

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