Post Holiday Blues

Christmas is over, the last light of Hanukkah has extinguished, no more food laden parties are on the calendar, and it is time to return to work.  It is not a surprise that one response to this less twinkly and sugary time of year is a big bout of misery, and depression.  The psychological explanation is that we are crashing after an intense high, and our bodies are recovering from indulgence and the realization that we must return to work. 

A different level of these Post-Holiday Blues exists when you are also grieving significant loss.  Missing someone in your life amplifies the depression that often follows the holidays.  Each party, family gathering and celebration just underscores the fact that you will never have certain experiences and memories.  Families are as sympathetic as they can be; there are just some things that, if you have not experienced them, you will never fully understand what they are like.

As much as Hallmark would have us think only happy holiday thoughts, there is human pain that bright lights won’t erase.   A common tactic used by many (myself included) is to isolate ourselves thinking that we can shield our hearts from pain and memories; this usually serves to just make us feel even more alone.

 

A wealth of information exists on how to combat grief and the blues both during and after the holidays.  Find what works for you; whether it is journaling, crying, painting, yelling, or rearranging the furniture.  Connect with others as much as you are able, even one person.  Take care of yourself; eat well and go for walks.  Rejoice in the small victories like taking a shower or putting on pants.  Recognize your humanity.  Every one of us is here to learn and grow.  Some of our lessons truly suck.  Changes will not happen overnight, they will happen though. 

All my best good luck to you for this New Year !!

Sydney  

You may contact me directly through email or one of my Facebook pages:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Sense-of-Peace-Inc/131165690233450 

https://www.facebook.com/sydneybridgesgriefcounselor/

https://www.facebook.com/TarotreadingsbySydney?ref=bookmarks 

sydneybridges1@gmail.com

Or my Website:

http://www.asenseofpeaceinc.com/

Holiday Grief

 
Holiday Grief Sucks !

“Holidays are time spent with loved ones” was imprinted on our psyche from a young age. Holidays mark the passage of time in our lives. They are part of the milestones we share with each other and they generally represent time spent with family. They bring meaning to certain days and we bring much meaning back to them.  How are we expected to cope with the holidays when we are grieving the loss of a loved one?  This is often the hardest part of grieving, when we miss our loved ones even more than usual.  How can you celebrate togetherness when there is none? When you have lost someone special, your world losses its celebratory qualities. Holidays only magnify the loss. The sadness feels sadder and the loneliness goes deeper. The need for support may be the greatest during the holidays.

You can and will get through the Holidays. Rather than avoiding the feelings of grief, lean into them. It is not the grief you want to avoid, it is the pain. Grief is the way out of the pain. Grief is our internal feelings and mourning is our external expressions.

WAYS TO COPE

Have a plan A/B.  Plan A may be dinner with the family, if it starts to feel overwhelming, go to Plan B which could be a favorite movie or looking through a photo album, or anything else that feels right for you in the moment.  Leaving early is absolutely allowed.

Cancel the Holiday all together. Yes, you can cancel the Holiday.  Many people find solace in celebrating the holidays, it gives a sense of continuity.  If you are feeling otherwise just don't do it.  Holidays come every year and it is perfectly fine to take a year off.

Try the Holidays in a new way. Grief has a unique way of giving us the permission to really evaluate what parts of the Holidays you enjoy and what parts you don’t. You have to decide what is right for you and do it. You have every right to change your mind, even a few times.  Creating new traditions helps to lessen the loss a bit, and allows you to see these special days as special once again.

DON'T FORGET

Even without grief, our friends and relatives often think they know how our holidays should look, what the family should and shouldn’t do. Now more than ever, be gentle with yourself. Don’t do more than you want, and don’t do anything that does not serve your soul and your loss.

I sincerely wish you all the best good experiences during this season.  May whatever holiday you celebrate be absolutely perfect for you.

Blessings and Peace to you all,

Sydney  

You may contact me directly through email or one of my Facebook pages:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Sense-of-Peace-Inc/131165690233450 

https://www.facebook.com/sydneybridgesgriefcounselor/

https://www.facebook.com/TarotreadingsbySydney?ref=bookmarks 

sydneybridges1@gmail.com

Or my Website:

http://www.asenseofpeaceinc.com/

Life Changes: Who Moved My Cheese

Recently I learned that I would be losing about 90% of my income due to changes in the management of the insurance company that provides that income.  This has been distressing, to say the least.  Once I stopped hyperventilating, which took about 2 days; I got strangely calm.  I remembered the book "Who Moved My Cheese" and realized that I just needed to find new cheese.  In my work as a Massage Therapist things have changed radically since I started my practice in 1999.  Back then Chiropractors did not have massage therapists in their offices. I would get lots of referrals of clients. Now most of them do. I rarely get a referral from a chiropractor. Working for a chiropractor is not a bad thing, it is just that you make 50% or less money than you do if you have your own practice.  Knowing myself as I do, it would not make me happy to have to work FOR someone else when I have been independent for 16 years.  Anyway, back to finding new cheese.

(Image by amazon.com)

It occurred to me that my situation is just the same as it was when I got divorced. The worst part of it or any situation where things have been drastically changed is the unknowing.  I have gotten used to knowing how much money to expect each month.  I have my regular insurance clients and my regular cash clients and the money for the most part arrived on the same day and I could count on it.  I got too comfortable and lazy.  Also bored.  The Universe in its infinite wisdom decided it would help me in my quest to make my work more interesting. 

I now am having to think about how I will pull in new business for massage as well as hypnotherapy and Tarot Reading.  It has become apparent that when looking for cheese you must get up and go search for it, you cannot just sit idly in your same spot and expect cheese to be delivered to you.  So I will be "hitting the bricks" as they say and marketing myself and "tooting my own horn".  Just so you know my comfort zone does not include these things.  If we are Facebook friends or you have "liked" one of my business pages, prepare to see much more activity.  

If you will excuse me now,  I am off in search of new and interesting cheese.

Blessings,

Sydney

You may contact me directly through email or one of my Facebook pages:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Sense-of-Peace-Inc/131165690233450 

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sydney-Bridges-Certified-Grief-Counselor/1441897136078091?ref=bookmark

https://www.facebook.com/TarotreadingsbySydney?ref=bookmarks 

sydneybridges1@gmail.com

Or one of my Websites:

http://www.asenseofpeaceinc.com/

http://sydneysministry.com/

Goal Setting: Using Hypnosis to help you Achieve Success

Awhile back I posted about being clear on your goals, after all you cannot achieve something if you are unclear as to what it is that you want.  This week I would like to comment about using Hypnosis to achieve these now clearly defined goals.

Within Hypnotherapy and other modalities there is a technique called Neuro-Linguistic Programming.  This is a technique in which language (speech and body) are used to specifically communicate what is desired.  For example, you state what is wanted instead of what is NOT wanted.  "I don't want to be fat"  becomes "I am at MY most perfect and healthy weight".  Our minds do not process negative statements the way you would expect.  By using words like "don't, can't, try and but" (which you should eliminate from your vocabulary) your mind gets confused and instead hears the sentence without the negative attached to it; "I don't want to be fat" is heard as "I want to be fat".
(Image byhowtohypnotizesomeonesafely.com) 

When you are speaking about your goals concentrate on the sensory experience that you will have upon achieving the goal.  This is like the dreamy look and feeling you get when describing the perfect partner, or how excited you become when talking about what you will do when you win the lottery.  If you have difficulty in finding a sensory experience when talking about your goal, perhaps it needs to be refined so that you can become excited about it.  Daydreaming helps to make what you want a reality, assuming that the goal is reasonably attainable.  Goals need to be the right size - challenging and doable.
(Image bychipsifraternity.wordpress.com)

Hypnosis is a remarkable way to assist you in your goal achievement.  Through the use of techniques such as Anchoring the practitioner can give you physical cues that will reinforce the positive changes that you desire to create for yourself.  Your dreams can become a reality. (Except for winning the lottery, still attempting to perfect this ... ;-) )

If you would like to discuss how Hypnosis can help you attain success, you can contact me through one of the means below with questions.

Blessings,
Sydney

You may contact me directly through email or one of my Facebook pages:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Sense-of-Peace-Inc/131165690233450 
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sydney-Bridges-Certified-Grief-Counselor/1441897136078091?ref=bookmark
https://www.facebook.com/TarotreadingsbySydney?ref=bookmarks
sydneybridges1@gmail.com

Or one of my Websites:
http://www.asenseofpeaceinc.com/
http://sydneysministry.com/

Hypnosis: Using our Sub-Conscious to deal with Grief and Loss

We are born and we die.  So it goes for all living beings; plant, animal, human.  We all know this and at least on some level are able to accept it.  Experiencing grief when loss occurs is also a natural and normal and healthy response.  The healing response that comes from experiencing grief allows us to move forward in our lives, it brings us compassion and it also makes us all aware of our own mortality.

Sometimes though, people get stuck in the bitter aspect of grief.  They see their loss as a punishment perhaps and it causes them to become hardened towards others or themselves.  In this case, many times people replay the events of the loss over and over and create a cycle of unhappiness for themselves that can be difficult to interrupt.   This effect can be similar to the triggers that those with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder deal with in that the least little thing, such as a smell, can cause the person to be right back where they were when the loss occurred.  This can cause a pattern of destructive thinking which affects all parts of a grieving persons life, from work to sleep and interactions with their family.  If these patterns are showing up for you or someone you care about, then hypnosis may give some relief in processing the grief so that it is less intrusive and more healing.
(image at www.youtube.com)

Utilizing the sub-conscious can help to minimize the traumatic parts of the loss while retaining all the loving memories that you want to hold onto. There are several ways in which you may do this, one way is to, through trance, have a conversation with the deceased to heal old wounds or find closure by saying those things that you may not have had an opportunity to say.  Our sub-conscious mind does not differentiate between real and imagined and this process can bring about profound peace.  Another approach is known as Therapist Driven Therapy which allows me to help you with some of the symptoms of profound / complicated grief such as insomnia and anxiety; at the same time this type of therapy helps you to lessen the feelings of guilt or anger that are preventing you from moving forward in your life.

Many times people feel that if they are happy or having fun or loving someone else it is as if they are disrespecting the deceased.  In my own experience I could not listen to or sing along with music for 5 years after the loss of my son, I simply felt that it was not right for me to be that happy without him.  I learned that it is okay to enjoy my own life while still remembering and loving my son.

If you or someone you know is suffering with loss, I would be happy to help them through it.  You can contact me through one of the means below with questions or concerns.

Blessings,
Sydney

You may contact me directly through email or one of my Facebook pages:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Sense-of-Peace-Inc/131165690233450 
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sydney-Bridges-Certified-Grief-Counselor/1441897136078091?ref=bookmark
https://www.facebook.com/TarotreadingsbySydney?ref=bookmarks
sydneybridges1@gmail.com

Or one of my Websites:
http://www.asenseofpeaceinc.com/
http://sydneysministry.com/

Dream Analysis: Can Hypnosis Help?

We have all had dreams that seem significant, the imagery is so elusive though that we have difficulty in making sense of it.  I will be the first to admit that sometimes our dreams are the result of our brains just playing with us or perhaps eating bad clams.

When a dream seems significant and you are just not able to decipher its meaning, hypnosis may be a way to gain understanding into what it is trying to help you process. Sigmund Freud viewed dreams as “the royal road” to the unconscious and developed dream analysis, or dream interpretation, as a way of tapping into this unconscious material.  While I do not agree with many of his interpretations (sometimes a cigar is just a cigar), I do agree that using analysis through hypnosis is very useful because it allows a kind of experiential or Gestalt approach to figuring out what the dream is trying to tell you.

In my practice as a hypnotherapist I have helped with smoking cessation, weight loss, anxiety, stress, low self-esteem,  trichotillomania (pulling out of eyelashes), test anxiety, stuttering and Dream Interpretation.  Dream-work in Gestalt therapy is implemented somewhat differently than in psychoanalysis and Jungian analysis. Gestalt therapists believe that dreams are existential messages we send to ourselves. Through hypnosis these messages are actively explored to bring dream content into a person's actual life.  While in trance the client is taken into the dream to look at it from a third person point of view.  This sometimes illuminates significant symbology that then helps them to unlock the meaning.
(Image by  allisoncramer.com)

Hypnosis gives you the added benefit of greater self-awareness. You know yourself whether something is relevant, you can feel it and then process whatever it is relating to with better clarity.  It is important to note that dream symbology books are working from a very general place.  Your dream symbols are unique to you and your life.  If you would like help discovering the meanings of any dreams, particularly those that are recurring, I am happy to help and you may contact me at one of the means listed below.

"To sleep, perchance to dream"  Shakespeare


Blessings,
Sydney

You may contact me directly through email or one of my Facebook pages:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Sense-of-Peace-Inc/131165690233450 
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sydney-Bridges-Certified-Grief-Counselor/1441897136078091?ref=bookmark
https://www.facebook.com/TarotreadingsbySydney?ref=bookmarks
sydneybridges1@gmail.com

Or one of my Websites:
http://www.asenseofpeaceinc.com/
http://sydneysministry.com/

Death and Dying: Let's talk about it ...

In the years since the passing of my son, it has become more and more clear to me what the meaning of it might have been.  In the searching to find some peace, what I have discovered is a need in our society to accept death as a natural occurrence and part of life.

We are bombarded, day in and day out, with images of youth.  Even those who appear in ads about cancer facilities appear young and vibrant.  It is great to think that we are going to live to very advanced ages, the reality though is dependent on our lifestyles and genetics.  Our society does not prepare us to accept death.  Doctor's are reluctant to sign death certificates because it is accepting failure for them.  We have an entire industry that is focused on removing us from death.  When a person dies in a hospital, a call is made to the mortuary and the deceased is picked up and taken to a place where strangers prepare the body for burial or cremation.  Families may get a moment to say goodbye at the hospital or hospice and then they never see their loved one again.  Certainly in some cases this is necessary when there has been a devastating accident or contagious illness.  The point of this is that we have become conditioned to fear death and dying, and we should not.

Image by sites.psu.edu

I have become involved in a movement to bring death and dying back into our lives.  I am trained as a Death Midwife, this is someone who actually stays with a dying person to help make their transition easier and less fearful.  Just as a Birth Midwife helps people to make their entrance into the world, I help them to make their exit.  I belong to the National Home Funeral Association and help people who want to make the process of "returning to the earth" more natural by keeping their loved ones home until they are buried and cremated.  The family prepares the body and gets to say goodbye and the process is personal, kind and natural.

Another passion of mine is the facilitation of "Death Cafe's", this is a kind of salon where people get together to discuss the issues of death and dying that frighten them so that they can be addressed without fear.  It is also a chance to discuss the practical issues of dying such as directives, wills and other plans that should not be left until the last minute to be decided by those who are in immense emotional pain.  I have included a link to an article that discusses this kind of gathering,  if you would like to have me facilitate something like this for you I am happy to do so.  At the bottom of this post are several ways you may contact me.  http://www.phillyvoice.com/death-cafe-philadelphia-out-of-the-closet/ .

Blessings,
Sydney

You may contact me directly through one of my Facebook pages:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Sense-of-Peace-Inc/131165690233450 
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sydney-Bridges-Certified-Grief-Counselor/1441897136078091?ref=bookmark
https://www.facebook.com/TarotreadingsbySydney?ref=bookmarks

Or one of my Websites:
http://www.asenseofpeaceinc.com/
http://sydneysministry.com/